???

What is the balance between being content where God has you, and trusting Him to do what He has put on your heart to do? I've been battling this for awhile now. I am struggling immensely with contentment. (if I have been honest with myself at all, that should be echoed in some of my previous posts) Mostly contentment with my job. I come home from work feeling so blahhh every single day. I sit at a desk and do nothing but stare at my computer screen. I'm lucky to have one real conversation all day (besides my automatic "good morning, the Murphy company:" that I repeat a handful of times when the phone decides to ring) It's just so ...pointless! empty.. lonely..and blah! I KNOW that I need to be content and thankful that God has provided a job for me. But my heart aches for more. It aches to feel alive and vibrant...doing what God has put on my heart to do. What has God put on my heart to do? Well, He's given me a love for kids, a love for music and has put a special place in my heart for those with special needs. He has given me natural ability and passion for all of those things. If I could find a job that blended all those loves together, I would be thrilled. However, most jobs that would fit that description require a degree and experience. I have neither. Should I go back to school? I'm not entirely comfortable with that option, as I would love to have kids and be a mom someday, and I need at least 2 more years of school - and we're already trying desperatly to pay off some of my (and chris') previous school debt. I just don't know!But if God is putting these things on my heart, should any of those reasons matter?? Should I put "reasons" and circumstances in the way of what He is more than able to do? But is it really what He wants for me, or is it just what I want? I think I have come to a full circle in my questioning/reasoning.. :) As I said, I have been battling this in my head for awhile...
My husband tells me constantly that I need to pray about being content. I know he's right. I need to be content in whatever situation I am in (as Paul was able to say) and wait on the Lord to lead me from there. One of the verses that has come to mind often is: "I will never leave you, nor forsake you". As lonely and discouraged as I may get, He is with me. He is Emmanuel. What a beautiful name! And knowing that He is with me, and is leading me should keep me joyful and content for each step and path He takes me on. (even if I don't like it??) Yes...
Now comes the hard part: living and acting on this. each day. each hour..each minute .. Knowing that He is with me, and because of Him, sin is conquered and I am free to live for Him.