obedience....

Yesterday, Praise the Lord, I was able to go to church for the first time in a month. I almost cried when we started singing together as a congregation..I had missed it that much.
And God knew what He was doing when He gave me a 2 day "break" with my sickness....because every song, every scripture, every word that was spoken during the sermon - seemed to be directed right at me, pinpointing what I have been struggling with - and what the Holy Spirit has been convicting me about.
These lyrics have been resonating in my head since they were song yesterday morning:
"Teach us, Lord, full obedience, holy reverence, true humility. Test our thoughts and our attitudes in the radiance of Your purity. Cause our faith to rise, cause our eyes to see Your majestic love and authority. Words of power that will never fail, let their truth prevail over unbelief."

I have been given an opportunity to step out in faith, standing on the truth of God's Word, to obey in a difficult and uncomfortable situation that I would honestly rather run from. And I have run from it for 9 months. 9 months of disobedience and rebellion. And in these past 9 months, I haven't grown much either. In the past week, an almost identical situation has been put in my path once again. Do you think this is coincidence? Hardly. The heat is being put on, and the Holy Spirit's conviction is at an all time high level...It's like He's asking me..." Are you going to ignore me forever??? Do you see the consequences of your disobedience?? Are you going to directly ignore My Word?"
Yesterday's sermon was all about "taking heed" to the Word that has been spoken to us. Listening, and doing something about it. Obeying, and taking it seriously. Exactly what I needed to hear and be challenged by. And now the greater challenge: doing something about it.
I'm done with being in the desert...being stuck in the rut..being absolutely miserable. I've wasted too much time...lied to myself for too long that this 'isn't a big deal'. I've been put on the spot of saying 'yes' or 'no' to God.....and the answer is, 'yes'...YES I will obey!!! I've gotten over fact that relationships could potentially be damaged/destroyed as a result of this...the relationship that means the most to me is my relationship with Christ.
Time for action and obedience. My next post will be a follow-up to this one...hopefully by the end of this week. :)