My mind hasn't stopped reeling since we were at Children's Hospital earlier this week. Nothing major this time - a scheduled appt/consultation for a procedure Luke has to get done in a few weeks. But in the short time we were there, I had conversations with 3 parents. That was amazing to me, seeing as I only had 1 brief conversation with a parent the entire week we were staying at Children's earlier this year. (maybe that has to do with the 2 whole times I left the room that week....haha)

Anyways, the first conversation happened in the elevator up to the 6th floor. We literally stepped in the elevator with several other parents, and the second the doors closed this dad started talking.... "man, I am so tired. I have been here for 8 months." 8 months???? This guy proceeded to tell us all the things that were wrong with his daughter that was born 13 weeks premature. Endless surgeries, complications and lifelong issues that she will deal with..(she's blind, deaf ..I can remember those 2 specifically). This guy was talking SO fast, I could barely understand him - and I had to wonder how many times he has given that rundown to anyone that he can talk to. At first I wondered if he was saying it all just for sympathy - but after our 1 week stay (which seems so little comparatively) - I know this much - sometimes you just need to talk. It doesn't matter who is listening - when you spend all day consumed with fear for your child, and some nights you don't get any sleep or even step out of the hospital room for a few days in a row - you need conversation and support.

Conversations 2 and 3 happened in the waiting room for our appointment. I was sitting there with 2 other parents - who had babies all around the same age as Luke. We started talking about how old they were, and all the basic baby questions you ask moms with kids around the same age :) In the course of the conversation, I found out that one of the baby's was also 13 weeks premature - born at 1 lb, 2 ounces. The mom couldn't even begin to start telling me all the medical trauma they had been through, but kept saying how blessed she was that her daughter was okay. The other mom had a boy who had been born with webbed fingers - and she was telling us how having webbed fingers also comes along with heart problems and other internal defects. She was going through all of the Dr's. and specialist they had seen in the past 4 months.

I left the hospital with a heavy heart, because in a very small way, I understand these parents hearts, and the hurt and fear they face with having a sick child. I'm not trying to be overly dramatic here - because I have a very healthy, beautiful boy, and have in no way gone through anything close to what these parents have. But I can honestly say that at one point I wondered if my child was going to get better. I faced very real thoughts of losing him, and I remember very clearly how that felt. There is NOTHING more scary, more heart wrenching, or difficult than going through that with a child.

I know that God put us through that for a reason, too. And especially since Tuesdays visit, I have been praying that God will use those experiences in any way he can for His glory. I feel like Children's hospital is a HUGE mission field in a way....there are so many parents that LIVE in those tiny rooms, some hanging on every heartbeat of their child - not knowing what's going to happen - asking questions, "why is this happening to my family, my child?" So many of them that don't know Jesus - they don't have hope. Most probably don't have the support we felt during our short stay - (family, church, etc) I don't know exactly how, but I want to start some sort of ministry to families like this. Have no idea in what way - still praying about that. But I want to be used by God to reach people for Christ. Excited to see what He might open up in this way!